Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Who's with me?

Sold out.
On fire.

These are words that I would use to describe people in the Bible -
David, Moses, Noah, Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, Paul, Peter, John, Jesus.
My question is - Why don't they describe me? Not to be falsely humble, but to be genuinely humbled, not one of these words describes the person that I am right now.
Lately I have felt like I am standing on a 100-foot-high diving board above the ocean, staring down, down, down, as I grip the edge with my toes. I know exactly what God is calling me to do. Dive in. Headfirst. No regrets. No turning back. Total freefall. I understand what it takes, and I understand that I am insufficient to survive on my own power. I have all the knowledge I need, I just won't jump. I know that behind me is a life of darkness and anxiety. And I know that below me is a life of fulfillment, sacrifice, and inexpressible joy. Why won't I jump in?
I think it might be because I'm afraid of jumping alone. We have been talking a lot at work about the lack of true community in the modern church and the desperate need for it. God never intended for His children to take on discipleship single-handedly. He gave each of us different gifts for a reason... so we would NEED each other. And we do. We do even today. But we don't recognize the need, and we are continuing to ignore it as it grows and grows.
So, my question is... who's with me? Will you take my hand and jump in with me? Because clearly I am too afraid to jump on my own.

1 comment:

  1. Hallie!
    Loved reading your blog and completely agree and know how you feel. Miss you so much, pretty girl!