Wowza.

Yesterday, I drove away from my second year of college and best year of life (so far). That means I'm halfway done with college (maybe). And for those of you who don't read between the lines, that means that time flies (especially when you're having fun). 

Yesterday, I spent the three-hour drive to Dallas in silence (mostly) in reflection of this year. It's overwhelming how blessed I've been. My friends, my boyfriend, my major, my family, my attitude have been transformed and blessed by God. I've prayed and prayed to see Him more and to know Him more, and this year, I couldn't deny His workings in my life and the lives of people around me. I'm sad to leave my friends at OC, but God has so much in store for the people I love this summer. 

Lemme give ya a little hint of what I mean by that:

This goofy girl is headed to Village of Hope in Ghana for a month to hang out with some precious baby orphans. 

This darlin' is headed to intern for the most hipster church in Tulsa. She'll fit in. 

This lovely lady will be spending her summer caring for a disabled man in Edmond. She's got a gift. 

My sweet wombmate is interning in downtown OKC at Capitol Hill. She loves those kids and they are going to love her even more than they already do. 

Cutie in the middle is traveling to Panama for eight weeks to give 'em some KoJack lovin'. I don't mean for that to sound inappropriate. 

This guy... he'll be in Arkansas all summer interning for West Ark CoC. I'll miss him, I guess. 

Little baby Kaci will also be interning, somewhere in TX...

And as for these two, they're goin' off and gettin' themselves hitched.

Needless to say, it's a pretty monumental summer for my friends. 

Can you tell I'm proud? 

Happy Summer. Let's make it memorable. 

Thank You, Jesus.

Christ is risen from the dead,

Trampling over death by death,

Come awake, come awake,

Come and rise up from the grave. 

Christ is risen from the dead,

We are one with Him again,

Come awake, come awake, 

Come and rise up from the grave!

Oh Death, where is your sting?

Oh Hell, where is your victory?

Oh Church, come stand in the light,

The Glory of God has defeated the night.

Oh Death, where is your sting?

Oh Hell, where is your victory?

Oh Church, come stand in the light,

Our God is not dead! 

He's alive! 

He's alive!

God has been so good to me. In so many different ways.
First of all, I was blessed to get to go to Passion Conference for a second time in Fort Worth a few weeks ago. I wasn't sure it was possible, but I experienced the Love and Mystery of Jesus even more than before.
Secondly, He has been orchestrating some extravagant things in my life and the lives of my friends. He has completely blessed one of my best friend's trips to Panama City, Panama this summer, He has provided me with money when I've needed it and encouraged me to pursue writing, He provided another of my friends with the job of her life and a clear calling to it, and He provided a long-distance friend of mine with just the right amount of money to pay for her tuition. Not to mention the joy He has lavished on me and my friends and my boyfriend, Logan. He has continued time and time again to show me that Logan is the guy for me right now, and He has blessed us with assurance and joy like we've never known before in our almost four year relationship. It's crazy to me to think about Who Jesus is... how powerful and majestic He is, and how much love He pours on us even though we don't deserve a drop of it.

"The Glory of God thunders, 

the Lord thunders over the mighty sea.  

The voice of the Lord is Powerful, 

the voice of the Lord is Majestic. 

He splits the mighty cedars." 

 Ps. 29:3-5

"God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him." - John Piper 

For the Dry Places.

I sing to the dry places.
His voice gushes from my lips, 
pouring over the desert, 
refreshing the weary. 
I laugh with Him in harmony;
He is here. 
He has not forgotten.
Reverberating from the corners of the earth,
bouncing from ghettos to plains and skyscrapers to sea, 
our voices join in a whirlwind, a crossroads. 


I sing to the dry places.
I spew red dirt and sod, 
Choking for breath,
Grasping for hope.
My tongue, scorched and crumbling--
He touches it. 
I don't thirst any longer.
Resonating from the well within me,
rippling from the tips of my fingers to the mouth of another,
we send out a message for the one, the hundreds.


I sing to the dry places. 


"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord. Be strong and take heart, and wait for the Lord." - Psalm 27:13-14

To Have and to Hold.

"You have me

You have me

You have my heart completely"

Gungor

Too many times I have heard words of commitment and love, muttered emptily to Jesus. 

"We love you." 

"Help us to follow you with our lives."

It seems strange to me that following Christ in America comes without a cost, and I think it's diluting our ability to commit to Him wholeheartedly. It is perfectly acceptable to call on the Name of Jesus, to claim His Name, yet look nothing like Him. I suppose we believe that calling out His Name will benefit us, because then we will go to heaven. Yay. But I have been looking seriously at my life. Why would I even call myself a Christian if I don't act like one? I would never call myself a Engineer... because I am not one. And I am not at all prepared to act like one. So why would I call myself a Christian if I'm not one? If I am not prepared? If I don't look like Christ?

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." -Matt. 7.21

Our faiths often lack the unconditional marriage commitment that we take on in Baptism. Of course, I suppose that kind of commitment is losing its popularity as well. 

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like." -James 1.22-24

I realize I just wrote a post about the fact that the Lord does not require a list of good deeds. But right now I'm stuck in middle of these two - deeds and faith - and I am trying to find a balance. I also do not think being a follower of Christ can be confined to donating to a charity or sitting by the lonely girl at lunch, though it often includes those things. Sometimes, being a follower of Christ means knowing when to say no. All the same, I need some serious courage and strength from the Spirit to choose life with Christ, and to match my actions to my words. 

Let me know what ya think. If you've found the balance, I'd love to hear how you do it. 

He's after our hearts.

I don't know if you struggle as I do with never feeling like I've "done" enough for the Kingdom of God. The enemy looms over me, whispering to me that my efforts are worthless, my strivings are in vain, I'm spinning my wheels, getting nowhere. Well, I've been reading The Me I Want to Be, and John Ortberg (though perhaps indirectly) addresses this issue of mine and of the Church. Or perhaps his thoughts just stirred up my thoughts.
God doesn't require results from us. He doesn't ask for a 6-month report. He doesn't even ask that we keep record of our "good deeds." While I believe that faith without deeds is dead, I also believe that the Lord is after more than a list of charity donations and mission trips.
He's after our hearts. 
Why is it that I can call the number on the TV that is showing me pictures of crying African children and abused puppies, and I can donate my money, and I still wake up the next morning feeling purposeless, meaningless? Shouldn't my list of good deeds fulfill me, give me a purpose? I am just now grasping in my heart that He is not after my little acts of goodwill (though He does call us to give, and give and give and give). After all, isn't He perfectly capable of ending world hunger, preventing tsunamis and earthquakes and nuclear power plant explosions if He so chooses? Is He not bigger than me? Does He really require of me little acts of kindness? Of course, the answer is yes. But He is, first and foremost, after my heart. I'm realizing more and more that deep, genuine, intimate relationship with the Father, the Son, and the Spirit is the only answer to fulfillment in this life. We can't find lasting purpose or fulfilled life apart from Him. I've been realizing just how incomprehensible and uncontainable the Lord is. He will not be boxed in. He will not be limited to a list of humanitarian acts. He is a living, breathing, roaring force of Love and Goodness, and He is calling after our hearts. The very center of who we are. And our hearts, our guts, our souls are desperately crying out for Him.

He has been meeting me in the most unlikely of places. Like a Monday afternoon walk with my main man. He's cute, I know.

Spring has sprung, my friends.

I used to hate Springtime.
Don't ask me why.  I think it may have had something to do with the fact that I've always had horrible allergies, and they are by far the worst during Spring.  So maybe deep inside I had some deep-seeded anxiety about pollen and flowers and sneezing in Spring.  But that's not important now.  Now, I love it.  It may even be up there with Fall on my favorites list.  I've been at home for Spring Break (both homes - Dad and Mom) and it has been so relaxing and even a little adventurous.  It's been especially awesome to spend a little alone time with Logan, seeing that we're both pretty busy during the semester and we'll be in different states this summer.  But enough about me.

"The God of glory thunders.

The LORD thunders over the mighty sea.

The voice of the LORD is powerful;

the voice of the LORD is majestic.

The voice of the LORD splits the mighty cedars;

the LORD shatters the cedars of Lebanon."

Psalm 29:3-5

Our God is Present.  Enjoy His Power today.