Home :)

I'm going home this weekend after being away from Nashville longer than I ever have been.
Nothing like home sweet home.

Pride and Prejudice.

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Gandhi

I wish to see a change in the Church... and I've been struggling with it/ thinking about it for a long time. God showed me this weekend that in order to see that change, I need to embody that change. And I think most of the things that bother me in the Church are only frustrating to me because they reflect the dying, decaying parts of myself.
Pride. As Christians, we are called to be everything but proud, unless we are proud of Christ's death and resurrection (Gal 6:14). Why, then, do so many of us continue to "brag" about our spirituality, our closeness to Christ, our achievements, our behaviors? The possibilities are endless of the things we can (and do) boast about. I'm sick of it! I am sick of feeling like I need to prove myself. You may be thinking, "Hallie, that's your problem. You don't have anything to prove, and it's entirely your doing/ your fault if you feel like you need to prove something to people." I would agree--I'm at fault. But, I think this issue with pride is a group effort from the Church. I was raised in a church where people cared more about their spiritual appearance than the glorification of God. In effect, I have inherited the practice of bragging, competing, etc. in my spiritual life and relations with others. Maybe, I wouldn't be as proud and competitive and proud if I had never felt "challenged" by my spiritual peers. How do we defeat pride? It's destroying our Church. It's destroying our ability to draw close to God.
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Side note. The number 13 has been EVERYWHERE for me lately. Let me give you a few examples. I was born on the 13th in room 213, my boyfriend was born on the 13th, I look at the clock every day at 10:13, I see the number 13 everywhere I look... so there must be some significance, right? God revealed to me a while ago that my life would be similar to the life of Jeremiah... or at least that the book of Jeremiah would be helpful for me for my entire life. Sunday, I read Jeremiah 13. Here's the jist (although I recommend you go read the whole thing for yourself!)
Basically, the Lord asks Jeremiah to buy a loincloth and bury it under a rock by the river. After a long time, the Lord asks Jeremiah to go and take it out. When he does, the loincloth is rotting and decaying. Here's what the Lord says: "This shows how I will rot away the pride of Judah and Jerusalem. These wicked people refuse to listen to me. They stubbornly follow their own desires and worship other gods. Therefore, they will become like this loincloth--good for nothing! As a loincloth clings to a man's waist, so I created Judah and Israel to cling to me. They were to be my people, my pride, my glory--an honor to my Name. But they would not listen to me." -Jer. 13:8-11
We are not to be proud. We are to be God's pride. I don't know how to get there, or even how to start the journey. But I'm ready to go.

Take a look at my beautiful friend Ali and I. I'm pretty proud of these:

She's pretty great. I like to quote our friend Ryan: "I can't see the world existing without you and Ali being friends." We had a fabulous weekend in Tulsa for Halloween! It's becoming a tradition now; this was year two of a Halloween in Tulsa for me. We went to a Hmong festival, played with a flame thrower, watched Polar Express and Fight Club (the classic combo), and even.... get ready... learned the dance to THRILLER. The only thing that could have made it better would be our dear friend Jenna's presence. Here's a little peek at our MJ debut:

It was a blast. Yes, that is Ali's dad on the right. 

I know, you may be impressed/shocked/surprised by all of the pictures on here! I figure I gotta spice it up sometimes. However, interestingly enough, this blog post was actually inspired by my lost phone last week and my lost keys yesterday. Last week, my phone mysteriously disappeared. There were, so I thought, only two places where my phone could be... and it was in neither of those places. So, I gave up on it and am now using my old, ghetto, orange phone (Sounds fabulous, right??).  If you've ever lost a phone, you understand the stress that comes with that. I've felt that stress multiplied, because I have lost enough phones that my parents just laugh when I tell them I've lost something else valuable and expensive... and I'm tired of disappointing them. Anyways, come Tuesday, I had received my new/old phone and could breathe a heavy sigh of relief. Ahhhh.

Sounds like a happy ending, right? Just wait! There's more. 

Yesterday, I remembered that I hadn't seen my keys since lunchtime on Tuesday. Never fear, I continued  to search for my keys at Qdoba, Starbucks, my dorm room, All About Cha, the OC Admissions Office, Logan's car, my dorm room again, and they were nowhere to be found. I read my Jesus Calling for that day, and in it, Jesus challenged me to see small adversities as opportunities. "Great," I'm thinking. "Really, Jesus?! I just found my phone. And you want me to look at my lost keys as an opportunity rather than an inconvenience and possible waste of money. Yeah right. See you tomorrow." When things like this happen to me, I typically let the stress overwhelm me. But this time, things were different... and it wasn't my doing. Hang with me, I promise I'm getting to the point of this saga. As I drove all around Edmond in search of my keys, I found that rather than feeling heightened disappointment at each stop where the successive barista/server/workers said, "No... we haven't found any keys," I found myself feeling lighter and lighter. Joyful and more joyful. I heard Jesus saying, "Hallie, they are just keys. If you can't find them, I will take care of you." How comforting. This earthly life is not about keys, praise the Lord! And so I found peace. My first taste of true peace in the face of adversity. (I'm terribly sorry if this offends you because you are dealing with much greater adversity than lost keys... I know it seems trivial). 

End of story, I found my keys. Once my phone was up and working, I got a text saying the lovely Kayleigh Mayhall had my keys--I had left them in the cafeteria and she picked them up for me. :)

a Magnificent God.

Friends, we serve a Magnificent God.
I don't take enough time to recognize His Power.
We never have reason to boast -- unless we boast about Him!  How humbling.
This is what He has been saying lately:
"Be aware of my constant, unchanging Presence with you. I am inescapable!  And I am in all things. Worship me all day long- by loving people, by admiring me, by refusing to worry, and by turning your eyes to Me."

     

Spend some time in His Powerful Presence today. 

Lord, I am coming.

"My heart has heard You say, 'Come and talk with Me.' 

And my heart responds,

'Lord, I am coming.'' 

-ps. 27:8

I love journaling. It the best kind of fulfillment and release valve for me... which is probably why I enjoy blogging so much! It is just such a therapy. So, as you can imagine, it was a momentous occasion when I ended my current journal and just started the cutest new one from my mom! I went through this previous journal unusually fast... I only started it this summer. Apparently I have just been super talkative in my inner self...

Well, I typically like to start a new phase of my life when I start a new journal.  For example, I started a new one when I got rebaptized, started a new one in college, started a new one before I went to Ghana. So this new journal is going to be a little different, and hopefully it will mark the start of a new phase. When I was looking back at my journal from this summer, I felt like I was consistent in talking to God, but I didn't often experience His manifest Presence in a major, unforgettable way. I didn't have many defining events or life-changing moments. In my new journal, instead of writing my thoughts and problems and prayer requests, I am going to take the advice of Sarah Young (author of Jesus Calling and Dear Jesus) and just listen. I am just going to sit in His Presence and listen. And then, I will write down what I hear. Obviously, I will still bring Him my problems like I always have. But I just want to have conversation with the Lord. I want to talk with Him, not at Him. Notice, in the verse above, the Lord does not say "Come and talk to me." He asks us to talk with Him. Back and forth. 

I started this morning and it went pretty well for the first day. I'm sure there will be days when I feel like He's saying nothing. But hopefully, I will be posting some responses on here. I would love it if you would join me in this quest to know and hear God, as opposed to dumping our problems on Him and taking off. 

Thy Will Be Done.

"Nevertheless, the time will come when I will heal Jerusalem's wounds and give it 

prosperity and true peace." -Jeremiah 33:6

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So, I was thinking today in my Quest for Meaning class (No worries, it sounds deeper than it actually is).
We were talking about Jesus' encounter with the dead and with the sick throughout the Gospels.. and the thoughts just started coming:
 If you notice, He never says, "Sorry. It is not my will that I heal your daughter/husband/brother etc." He heals 27 people in his 3 years of ministry. In some cases, He raises people from the DEAD. And nowhere do we find an account where Jesus says "I don't want to, or "I can't," or "I won't," or "It's not my will." Can you imagine if He did? Just picture a Jesus who refused to heal people. He equally offers His healing - both spiritually AND physically. I once heard a preacher say that the cross is Jesus' screaming to the world, "THIS WORLD MATTERS." He is shouting, "Salvation is not all I bring you, world! I come to bring you life, health and peace. In abundance." (2 Peter 1:2, Jude 1:2)

Jesus does not merely offer us salvation from sins! He bore every disease on the cross (Isaiah 53:4).
It irks me when I hear believers say "If it is Your Will, heal this person." Of course it is His Will. He never desires for anyone to suffer. Thy Kingdom come, thy Will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." In heaven, we are told that there is no suffering or pain. If we are asking for things to be on earth as heaven, why aren't we asking more boldly that suffering end and diseases be healed? Obviously, I believe that there are times when the Lord chooses not to heal for reasons I do not understand, but I trust. But, I believe that if more followers would stand up and boldly proclaim Jesus' cross as the removal of all suffering, spiritual and physical, perhaps the Lord would hear us and heal us.

" I gave Egypt as a ransom for your freedom; I gave Ethiopia and Seba in your place. 

Others were given in exchange for you.

 I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. 

You are honored, and I love you." - Isaiah 43

Focus.

"In the silence of the heart, God speaks." -Mother Teresa

My quest for purpose and focus have been somewhat successful, although I won't say I haven't had a few bumps along the way. It is just so easy for me, a materialistic, selfish American, to lose focus. 

I'm not even sure that I have anything productive to say in this post. 

I'm realizing how important each moment is... how precious time is. It truly is the rarest commodity. And as I discussed this idea with Logan last night, we realized that time is the most precious gift that the Father gives us. And when we spend our time selfishly, lazily, or angrily, we are throwing away an irreplaceable, one time gift. (Luckily we get a few more moments to redeem ourselves.. hopefully). We were made with the intention that we would use each moment to spread love, joy, peace, etc. 

I challenge you to use each moment to expand and enrich the Kingdom.